Monday, February 27, 2006
What does 100% really Mean
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
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Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
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asp.net c# Image Control doesn't update (fix)
When writing asp.net c# pages, you might notice that the image control will not refresh when pointing to an image on the server. The control itself will refresh the image if the file name changes, but if the picture changes (and not the filename) then you'll always be stuck with the same old image.
I found a fix for this and wanted to post it (since it's not so easy to find).
By passing a dynamic parameter to the back of the image URL, you'll trick the control into thinking the filename has changed. Magically the control will start working as expected.
So if you code was:
oImage.ImageURL = "/images/picture.jpg";
change it to:
oImage.ImageURL = "/images/picture.jpg?" + System.DateTime.Now.ToString();
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I found a fix for this and wanted to post it (since it's not so easy to find).
By passing a dynamic parameter to the back of the image URL, you'll trick the control into thinking the filename has changed. Magically the control will start working as expected.
So if you code was:
oImage.ImageURL = "/images/picture.jpg";
change it to:
oImage.ImageURL = "/images/picture.jpg?" + System.DateTime.Now.ToString();
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Friday, February 24, 2006
Priceless!
You gotta love this guy...
This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests...
After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the brides and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such alavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyones chair, including the wedding party, was an envelope.
He said this was his gift for everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.
After just standing there, just watching the guests reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you". Then he turned to his bride and said, "F---you". Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "Im outta here."
He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge...making the brides parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all,trashing the brides and best mans reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has balls the size of church bells.
Do you think he might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends .... $32,000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion ... $3,000.
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui ... $8,500.
The look on everyones face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man..........
Priceless.
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else theres MASTERCARD
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This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests...
After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the brides and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such alavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyones chair, including the wedding party, was an envelope.
He said this was his gift for everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.
After just standing there, just watching the guests reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you". Then he turned to his bride and said, "F---you". Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "Im outta here."
He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge...making the brides parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all,trashing the brides and best mans reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has balls the size of church bells.
Do you think he might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends .... $32,000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion ... $3,000.
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui ... $8,500.
The look on everyones face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man..........
Priceless.
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else theres MASTERCARD
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Friday, February 17, 2006
Personalize your pages with Javascript
Here's an easy trick that you can do to make your web pages appear more personable:
It's said that the sweetest word to anyone is their name. Wouldn't it be cool to automatically show someone's name on your web-page? Just add this Javascript code and you'll see how easy this is to do:
Add this code to the bottom of your HTML page:
(Click the image below to see the code - Blogspot won't let me post Javascript code)
Next, Add this code to anywhere in your page where you would want their name to appear:
To get the name to appear, you just put a ? after the page with the person's name. For example:
http://www.youdomain.com/index.html?Bryan
Now, you might be asking. How do I know their name? Good question.
Obviously you can't use this for random visitors to your site, but you can use it for a landing page from an email message. This is good for internet marketing. Let's say you send your customers an email something like this:
To: Bryan Fleming
From: Your Store
Subject: Check out our new products
Hello Bryan,
We would like to show you some new products we have, you can see them here:
http://www.youdomain.com/landingpages/newproducts.htm?Bryan
So by building the page shown above with the Javascript, you can make a personal web page with their name thrown right into it. Now, you have to be sure that your email sender can merge in the first names. Most of them can.
There are a lot better ways of doing this by using cookies and server side scripting technologies like .NET, PHP, or Java. This is just a quick way where a non-programmer can give a little personalization to their pages.
Enjoy!
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It's said that the sweetest word to anyone is their name. Wouldn't it be cool to automatically show someone's name on your web-page? Just add this Javascript code and you'll see how easy this is to do:
Add this code to the bottom of your HTML page:
(Click the image below to see the code - Blogspot won't let me post Javascript code)
Next, Add this code to anywhere in your page where you would want their name to appear:
To get the name to appear, you just put a ? after the page with the person's name. For example:
http://www.youdomain.com/index.html?Bryan
Now, you might be asking. How do I know their name? Good question.
Obviously you can't use this for random visitors to your site, but you can use it for a landing page from an email message. This is good for internet marketing. Let's say you send your customers an email something like this:
To: Bryan Fleming
From: Your Store
Subject: Check out our new products
Hello Bryan,
We would like to show you some new products we have, you can see them here:
http://www.youdomain.com/landingpages/newproducts.htm?Bryan
So by building the page shown above with the Javascript, you can make a personal web page with their name thrown right into it. Now, you have to be sure that your email sender can merge in the first names. Most of them can.
There are a lot better ways of doing this by using cookies and server side scripting technologies like .NET, PHP, or Java. This is just a quick way where a non-programmer can give a little personalization to their pages.
Enjoy!
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Tuesday, February 14, 2006
The MouseTrap
A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife Open a package."What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.
Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning. "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."
The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured, you are in my prayers."
The mouse turned to the cow and said "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."
So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of mousetrap catching its prey.The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital, and she returned home with a fever.
Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with the farmer around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.
The farmer's wife did not get well; she died. So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.
The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.
So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.
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Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning. "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."
The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured, you are in my prayers."
The mouse turned to the cow and said "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."
So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of mousetrap catching its prey.The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital, and she returned home with a fever.
Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with the farmer around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.
The farmer's wife did not get well; she died. So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.
The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.
So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.
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Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Funny......
The State Highway Patrol in conjunction with the FBI has issued a warning advising all dog owners to keep their dogs indoors until further notice. Dogs are being picked off one at a time on an almost continual basis throughout the city. They are falling in great numbers. Police in the city advise all dog owners not to walk their dogs - KEEP THEM INDOORS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!
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Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Super Bowl in HD TV
Friday night was fun in Detroit and I’ll post some pics from it soon. We used Sherry’s Treo 650 to take the pictures so they’re OK, but not great. What do you expect? It’s a cell-phone!
Now, I want to post about something we’re all hearing about: HD TV. I never really sat down and watched anything (except in Best Buy) on one of these sets, but little did I know the Super Bowl would be my first HD experience.
My buddy Marzen invited Sherry and I over to his Super Bowl party where he had a Panasonic 42” plasma HD TV. I guess you just had to be there. I don’t really know exactly how to describe the picture, but it was just very very clear. You could see things during the game like the texture of the grass. You could see if a player didn’t shave or even missed a spot.
I wasn’t really sold on High definition, and although it’s certainly a nicer picture I don’t think I’m going to run out and buy one. Apparently they’re not the easiest things in the world to hook up as a few friends have told me.
Comcast is quick to jump into the game and charge you more money for the HD signal. Now, a quick piece of advice: You can use a standard antenna and get plain-old fashioned HD TV signals that reportedly have better quality than what Comcast wants to sell you. Of course you’ll only get the standard 2,4,7 channels.
Also, HD TV’s are crashing in price. Just walk into Costco and you see the prices falling.
My plan is to get a Laptop LCD projector and build a home theater. I’m sure I’ll always have friends with these HD sets where I can go catch the game.
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Now, I want to post about something we’re all hearing about: HD TV. I never really sat down and watched anything (except in Best Buy) on one of these sets, but little did I know the Super Bowl would be my first HD experience.
My buddy Marzen invited Sherry and I over to his Super Bowl party where he had a Panasonic 42” plasma HD TV. I guess you just had to be there. I don’t really know exactly how to describe the picture, but it was just very very clear. You could see things during the game like the texture of the grass. You could see if a player didn’t shave or even missed a spot.
I wasn’t really sold on High definition, and although it’s certainly a nicer picture I don’t think I’m going to run out and buy one. Apparently they’re not the easiest things in the world to hook up as a few friends have told me.
Comcast is quick to jump into the game and charge you more money for the HD signal. Now, a quick piece of advice: You can use a standard antenna and get plain-old fashioned HD TV signals that reportedly have better quality than what Comcast wants to sell you. Of course you’ll only get the standard 2,4,7 channels.
Also, HD TV’s are crashing in price. Just walk into Costco and you see the prices falling.
My plan is to get a Laptop LCD projector and build a home theater. I’m sure I’ll always have friends with these HD sets where I can go catch the game.
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Friday, February 03, 2006
SuperBowl XL
Well, Living in Detroit has gotten really fun this weekend. Everyone's hoping we can make a good impression on the world for the Super Bowl. Rumor has it that they've done a ton work downtown to clean things up for the big event.
For those of you who don't live here, downtown Detroit normally looks like a scene from World War III. There's a lot of abandoned buildings and it's generally a very dark place. We'll it sounds like they've band-aided that for this weekend.
Sherry and I are heading down tonight to check out the festivities. It will be really nice to see the city with life pumped into it. This is a first for all of us here. We're just enjoying our day in the sun.
Now, the celebrity parties are out of control everywhere. You can forget going to a nightclub or bar. Most have been rented out for Private parties or very expensive public ones (to the tune of $1,000 a person). In any case, we're not going down for the parties, we're going to see what this city *could* be. They are having a big winter-blast street fair this weekend and who knows what big names will be playing there. Tomorrow is really the big night: Kid Rock Concert, Eminem's Shady bowl, and more. We might go down there tomorrow too.
If I see anything cool, I'll snap a pic with Sherry's Treo 650 and post them here.
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Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Detroit Automakers...
I live in Detroit, so when they announce that they have to cut a bunch of jobs it just puts the whole town down in the dumps.
So I'm reading fortune magazine (this month's issue), and they're talking about E85. E85 is a Ethonol fuel that's only 15% gas and the rest comes from corn, grass, etc. It has a lot of promise of being a future fuel source.
Now, here's the funny part. Ford & GM made a 'deal' with the government to get a little break on gas mileage laws. In return for the break they would make their cars run either fuel source-- E85 OR gas. So in fact, there are millions of Ford/GM cars and trucks on the road right now that can already run on E85.
You know, I just find it funny that when gas went $3.25 a gallon, GM/Ford didn't pull that trump card. I think people would have been screaming for E85 and it would have shown just how innovative these guys are.
But they didn't say that. Most of the public doesn't know-- and keeps their perception of poorly made American Cars. Get with it guys...
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